Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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