haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
