yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
