I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
