Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
