I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
