i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
