Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
