I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
