All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There r osticjed everywhere
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize