didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
