kristin has been a bad kristin
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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