Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
