1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
