It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
