The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
