i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
