you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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