Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
