We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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