Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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