real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
