You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
