i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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