i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
