a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it hurts more in the daytime
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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