my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
