When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
