That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
