You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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