my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
