my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
