I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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