Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
