Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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