i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
