I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
