So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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