You work out of a Hotel?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
