how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
