Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
