the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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