i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
