Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
