not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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