I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
