I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
