why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize