I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize