Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I didn't notice because vodka
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
