Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
