chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
