elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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