just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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