shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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