oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
