Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
