I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
